After last week's adjustment period and a happy GREEN on Friday, we thought we were in the clear. Rewards to work toward and consequences for ORANGE marks were established, chore charts were reinstated, and we were peppered with James' "yes ma'am/yes sir's". We didn't have overly high expectations for this week (it's still just week two, after all), but we were certainly hoping for improvement over last week (more GREEN, less ORANGE). Instead, James brought home ORANGE, RED, GREEN, and RED, Monday-Thursday. This resulted in a lot of disappointment and frustration and worry on our end, some sadness and stress on James' end (though we assured him we were disappointed, but not mad, and that no matter what color he brings home we love him exactly the same, every day), and a quickly scheduled parent-teacher conference.
We've had plenty of impromptu parent-teacher meetings over the years at Agape, and even a couple intense parent-teacher-administrator-director meetings, but I wasn't sure what to expect today. First Grade is VERY different from Kindergarten, and public school is VERY different from a small, private, Montessori-based school...
It turns out that while James is definitely having some attention-span/lack-of-focus/not-following-directions issues in the classroom, the majority of the reason he is ending up on ORANGE/RED is due to his behavior in the cafeteria/hallway (talking, getting out of line/out of his seat, putting his feet up on the table/stools) and even the bathroom (he spends far too long in there, goofing off and avoiding coming back to class). For clarification, we asked about cafeteria talking (because we personally were so upset by it, as were his grandmas!) and apparently they CAN talk at lunch, but not until they finish their food. They are encouraged to focus on their lunch first, then socialize (and do so at a reasonable decibel level). Fair enough. Better than not being allowed to talk at all. Cora said "I always talk at lunch"...
To address these issues, we're going to continue to remind him about the new rules that he needs to accept and follow (they are different than Agape, and far different than Daycamp, obviously, but they are what they are and we all have to accept that), encourage him to reduce distractions (no more belts at school, since he sits and plays with them when he should be working - magnetic belts are fun when you have a metal desk - and we're teaching him to think "POOF" or "ZAP" in his head if something pulls his attention from the teacher or his seatwork, to make the distraction disappear), and reinforce our expectations (we want him to give it his best each day, but we don't expect perfection - NONE of us are perfect). He knows what he's suppose to do, and he's capable of doing it (he HAS had two GREEN days, after all), he just needs to make it routine rather than need to work so hard at it.
We discussed the fact that these are not new issues to us - lack of focus and difficulty following directions (especially multi-step directions... not a chance!) certainly occur at home, as they did last year in Kindergarten. It's just that at home we have only 2 kids to focus on rather than the 20+ Ms. Currie has under her supervision, so we can repeat Repeat REPEAT as necessary to get through to him, whereas Ms. Currie doesn't have the time for that. And last year, if you recall, we had quite a long span of "bad" reports home from Ms. Tina, which mostly reversed itself as she and James (and we) worked together to figure out the best way to keep him focused and on task at school (some things which Ms. Currie has already implemented, like moving his desk to the front of the room next to her desk, but also using our personal reminders about rewards and consequences). That makes us think that some of these issues will simply go away with time (he needs a bit longer to adjust to First Grade, and as the year goes on, he'll also mature and some of these behaviors will likely lessen or disappear), though we are also aware that James is James, and some of these things may always be a struggle for him and his personality. Only time will tell.
At the end, I couldn't resist asking whether James is standing out as "the bad kid" in class, or if multiple students are having a hard time adjusting, and I was relieved to hear that there are plenty of kids having attention and behavior issues (and that at least James' behavior issues revolve around day-dreaming and socializing, and not being disrespectful to the teacher or being rough with other students - not that we would ever expect that from our "Gentle James" anyway). The "harsh" colors and phone calls to parents during weeks one and two (even though Ms. Currie is aware that it takes longer than a couple days to adjust to a new school year, and also to the big changes from Kindergarten to First Grade) were made to gauge which parents are involved in their students' success at school, as well as to let the kids know that she means business before things get out of hand (apparently she has an especially rambunctious group of mostly boys this year). She is hoping that addressing the behavior issues early and often will get the whole class in line quicker.
As we were wrapping up the meeting, Jay noticed a large pile of papers in James' desk (compared to many other mostly empty desks) and inquired whether those should be there... Apparently not - James was suppose to bring those home, but didn't. And here we'd been wondering what he's been up to so far this school year (as we had quite a few papers home from Cora last Friday). In addition to the MANY pages of phonics and reading skills (and a couple of math sheets), most of which were only partially completed (see lack of focus...), we found a few fun drawings (which I sprinkled throughout this post). We told James how much we loved his pictures, and that if he can focus and finish his seatwork QUICKLY, he'll have even more time to draw cool stuff for mama and daddy. That made him smile. Always good to end a meeting with a smile!
This one is a cat inside a purse - a reference to a book they're reading this week, which they will be tested on today. Tests are taken on the computer, which we think James will love. All he has to do is read the question and write an answer, like a book report that also tests their reading skills, since they have to read the question themselves. Jay practiced with him by asking him various questions about the story, and another story (his first AR book, which he'll also be tested on), and he did great. Academically, he's right where he needs to be. He may not LOOK like he's not listening, but he is. He's getting it all and it shows when he's tested or doing homework. He's a very smart little guy! He just wants to do his own thing more often than not... (Further above is a couple of friendly monsters. And above that one is a drawing straight out of Independence Day. You know, the movie with Will Smith? Parents of the year for letting him watch scary alien invasions...)
