TIPS FOR FIRST TIMERS: PREPARING FOR THE BIG DAY

The big day being, of course, labor and delivery!

PREPARING FOR THE BIG DAY

1) Pick a pediatrician. There are 3 ways to go about doing this...

You can ask all your local friends and family with kids who they use, then compare notes (see which pediatrician gets the most hits and why, what their average wait time is for visits - I wish we'd asked this one! - and what their track record is as far as diagnosing illnesses, prescribing meds - not just antibiotics - and giving referrals as needed).

Or, you can ask your own doctor (your general practitioner, or whoever) for a recommendation.

Or, you can search the internet for a listing of all the pediatricians in your area, then choose a few to go interview in person. That is a very time consuming option, but if you are the type that wants to "get a feel" for someone who will be taking care of your child for the next 18 years or so, that is the best way to do it. And if you choose this route, you can search the internet to get a list of questions you should ask the pediatrician when you interview them.

Once you've decided on a pediatrician, call their office. It doesn't matter if you're 3 months pregnant or 8 months, you can call them whenever you want. Just do it before your due date! First of all, ask them if they are accepting new patients. If so, find out what you need to do as far as setting up your baby's first appointment with them. Do they want a call from the hospital after you deliver? Will they want to see the baby as soon as you are released from the hospital? 4-5 days later? When they are 2-weeks-old? Each pediatrician handles things a little differently, so you won't know until you ask. If you are planning to breastfeed, be sure to tell the pediatrician now, because they will likely want to see you sooner rather than later (because breastfed babies tend to lose more weight during their first week of life - remember, your milk doesn't come in for 2-5 days - and breastfed babies also tend to have a higher instance of jaundice, for the same reason). Also find out what their "after hours" procedure is. Do they have an on-call nurse for advice and late-night prescriptions? Is there an on-call doc on the weekends (so you don't have to resort to the ER for minor illnesses)?

Get your new pediatrician office's contact information, including full name of the doctor, mailing address, phone number(s), and fax number. The baby nurses and doctor at the hospital where you deliver will want all that information, and they will either mail or fax your baby's newborn stats and test info and anything else they get while you are there during your postpartum stay to your pediatrician.

If you are interviewing pediatricians, here are a few other questions to keep in mind during your visit: How does the office run (timeliness of appointments, well baby and sick child waiting areas, polite and helpful receptionists)? How many nurses work with the pediatrician and for how long (just to get an idea of how busy the doc is, how often you might see the same nurse, and what the turnover is like). You will spend almost as much time with the nurses as you do your pediatrician. If you have specific ideals about how you will handle medical (and behavioral) issues, ask for the pediatrician's opinion about them now. You want a doc that is on the same page as you, at least on the important topics. For example: vaccinations (especially if you want to delay or skip any, or split them up between visits), circumcision (if you don't plan to, make sure your doc is supportive and is up-to-date on current information on intact care), sleep habits (does the pediatrician support cosleeping/bedsharing? encourage cry-it-out? allow tummy sleeping? follow the back-to-sleep campaign?), breastfeeding (will they support you in exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months if you choose to do so? when will they recommend starting vitamin supplements - breastfed infants are usually given vitamin D supplements), and feeding (do they still follow the old-school advice of starting solids at 4-months? or giving rice cereal in the bottle at 2-months? how do they feel about potential allergens and when to introduce them - like eggs, peanut butter, etc.?), to name a few. Whatever decisions you plan to make for you baby, make sure your pediatrician complements them. Or that at least you will be able to "agree to disagree" (because mama and daddy know best, in my opinion). Think of your pediatrician as a family member. They are someone you will turn to for advice whenever you are dealing with big issues with your baby. You want to trust their judgement. Make sure they take the time to really talk to you, and judge them on how well they respond to your questions. Find out whether their office will call in meds to a pharmacy for you if they are something simple or that your baby has had before and tolerated well (for example, you don't need to wait for 2 hours at their office and pay a $25 copay if all your baby needs is eye drops for conjunctivitis).

2) Pack your hospital bag(s).

For mom: 2 nightgowns (nursing nightgowns, if you plan to breastfeed). Don't bother with those cute coordinating top and bottom sets because I promise you, you don't want to deal with any extra layers below your waist, not with the constant trips to the bathroom and checks from the nurses (yes, they check your "progress" constantly during the first day or two). Also, if you're planning to breastfeed, pack 2 nursing bras and some nursing pads (you may not be making much in quantity, but colostrum can stain). In fact, even if you're not planning to nurse, I would pack some nursing pads. They'll provide you with postpartum pads and panties at the hospital, but you might want to bring your own, for comfort (or in case you run out, since hospitals are only allowed to provide you with a limited quantity). Also in this category: toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, lotion, chapstick, hairbrush and hair ties or headband to keep your hair out of your face during delivery, glasses or contacts if you wear them, even makeup if you want - whatever you need to feel clean and refreshed). Don't forget socks with grippers on the soles, or a pair of slippers (for walking the hallways and keeping warm in cold hospitals). A robe or cardigan sweater (also, for keeping warm). Your favorite pillow (with a pillowcase in any color OTHER than hospital white, so you don't forget it there or lose it to housekeeping) and also your Boppy pillow (ANYTHING to help position baby for those early nursing days will save your sanity, and your arm strength - giving birth is pretty tiring, if you haven't already guessed). A homecoming outfit for yourself. Pick something comfy, and that fit you at 6 months pregnant (because MOST women don't lose the belly until a couple of weeks after birth). If you plan to take portraits of yourself and baby while at the hospital, pack something cute. Don't forget comfy shoes for the ride home (unless you want to go home in whatever you wore to labor and delivery, or don't mind wearing your slippers home). Oh, and if you want personalized instruction on how to use your breastpump, bring that along too. Last, but not least, don't forget your paperwork: any preregistration paperwork you have (and DO preregister, because they already ask enough questions while you're breathing through labor pains during admission, no need to add more piddly annoyances at that stage), your insurance card(s), your driver's license, and your birth plan (if you have one).

For baby: 3-4 sleepers or kimono-style gowns (anything that doesn't have to go over the head) and a coming home outfit (also think comfort and ease of dressing here). A cute blanket and matching hat (looks great in photos, rather than just using the hospital issued variety, but be sure the hat is TINY, since most 0-3 month size hats will be swimming on your newborn, and thus be pointless). And the infant carseat, of course!

For dad: snacks (to be eaten out of sight of mom ONLY during labor), water bottle, watch, cell phone (and list of folks to call after delivery to share the news), quarters for the vending machines (and some cash for the cafeteria), iPod or similar (to play calming music for mama - maybe a pair of earphones too, in case she wants to tune daddy out), something to massage mama with during labor (I recommend one of those pool noodles, cut into 3rds), book and/or magazine, change of clothes and pajamas, his own toiletries, an extra pillow (to make sleeping on the hard-as-a-rock pull-out as comfy as possible), and your laptop (if you're into facebook or blogging, or just want another way to pass the time).

3) Do your kegels. I know they are no fun, but I promise you, they ARE important! So just do them. As often as you can remember to. Your bladder will thank you later.

4) Exercise. If you haven't been doing so since before you got pregnant, don't go out and start now though. And don't worry about doing anything big. Just take a walk. Maybe on your lunch break, maybe after dinner. Just a little something to help you work on your stamina. Labor is hard work, and it's even harder if you're a couch potato. In fact, doing some very simple yoga stretches each day will help you to be more flexible (and thus comfortable) during labor. They'll want you to grab your legs behind the thighs and bend WAY forward, which is hard enough to do with that belly in the way, but even harder if you haven't been keeping yourself limber. Well, as limber as you can be with a beach ball in your way.

5) Some "internal" stretching prior to the big day is a good idea too. I think you know what I'm talking about... Many women suffer from tears or episiotomies. Stretching can help to reduce your risk of tearing (vitamin E oil is a good lubricant), or at least make them less dramatic (for instance, a first degree rather than a 2nd degree tear). Also, when your labor and delivery nurse asks if she can stretch you while your baby is being born, let her. Tears are NOT fun. Obviously.

6) Take some classes! Most hospitals provide free childbirth classes. There are also breastfeeding classes, carseat safety classes, and infant first aid and CPR classes. Personally, I feel that all those classes are important, but especially the carseat safety and CPR classes. As a new parent, I guarantee you that your baby's health and safety will be at the forefront of your mind most minutes of each day, so you will feel a lot more at ease if you are prepared. In fact, there are some great books you can read ahead of time to prepare you as well, such as caring for you newborn, ways to calm crying and help your baby sleep better/longer, and tips and tricks geared for the dad-to-be.

7) Speaking of carseat safety, PLEASE read the instructions on your carseat and ensure that it is installed properly. You can stop by any fire department to have them double-check your installation for you, so go ahead and do this well before you're headed to the hospital to have your baby. Once you know your seat is installed correctly, make sure that you USE it correctly, each and every time. You would not believe the common mistakes that MANY parents and caregivers make concerning carseats. I cannot stress enough how important it is to use your carseat correctly. The mistakes I see most often are carseats that are installed too loosely and harnesses that are not buckled tightly enough. The newest recommendations for carseat safety can be found here. Your baby should remain rear-facing, whether in an infant bucket-style carseat or a convertible carseat, for as long as possible. The minimum law is 1-year AND 20 lbs, though the minimum recommendation is now 2-years, with the advise to stay rear-facing for as long as your child remains under the weight and height limit for their seat. Each seat is different, so you'll need to read your manual to find this out. Lots of infant bucket-style seats only go to 22 lbs, but many of the newer ones go to 32 lbs and 30 inches. If you haven't purchased your seat yet, please get one of these. While convertible seats are great, infants are actually safer in a bucket-style seat. You can even keep the handle in an upright locked position to act as a roll bar. Most babies won't pass 30 lbs and 32 inches until their 1st birthday or later. And when it comes time to transition them to the convertible carseat, there are some amazing options out there. Many now allow rear-facing up to 40-45 lbs. Think of your carseats as an important investment in your child's safety. You won't regret spending extra money on this piece of baby gear.