AGAPE LOVE

(She was trying to count with me as I snapped the photo... Posing on their first day of school at Agape Montessori Christian Academy, with their new "munchboxes" and the daycare potty seat.)

The kids started their new school on Monday. The drop-off on morning one went better than expected. The new rooms (post-construction) look great, and there is SO much space for the kids to play! This is the "Montessori Room" (a shared space for the Toddler and Jr/Sr Primary classes):

James was immediately pulling things off the shelves to show me. In particular, one of their little spray bottles. And the puzzles. He smiled at the other kids, but stayed pretty close to me. Cora wouldn't let me put her down, of course. So I sat and played with them. We sang some songs. Then, when the kids were distracted, I ran back to the car to grab their nap mats (I couldn't carry everything in at once). When I came back inside, the entire school was together in the front room for morning assembly (something they do on Mondays). Some of the kids were sitting on the couch (with older kids holding younger kids on their laps), most of them were sitting on the big rug in the middle of the room, and a few of the older kids (the school goes from 6-weeks to 8th grade) were standing around the perimeter. The infant room teacher. Ms. Lois, was giving a lesson, talking about the plans for the week, and asking students to share what they did over the weekend. James was standing right in the middle of the rug throughout all of this, calmly looking around at all the students and teachers, and taking it all in. I stood at the far door, just watching. Then Cora spotted me (she was in the arms of Amy, the director), and pushed to get away and run to me. But she was calm and quiet. So I held her through the rest of assembly. When I tried to sneak into the bathroom to get a tissue for her runny nose, James spotted me and came running (and crying in a bit of a panicked voice). So I stood there holding 55 lbs in my arms during the Pledge of Allegiance and prayer, then took the kids back to their rooms. And we had to start the goodbye process all over again.

This is (part of) James' classroom:

I showed James the potty, and he went like a champ. No fear of the "big potty". Not that it was big. It was toddler-sized (so CUTE!, if you can consider toilets to be cute...). And I had brought his own personal Bjorn seat to put on top, which I'm sure helped (have I mentioned I finally got him back up on our big potty at home this week, following day one at the new daycare? - awesome!). He LOVED their little staircase ("TWO steps Mama!") up to the sink so he could wash his hands all by himself. He didn't want to share it with Cora though! I changed her diaper (in the bathroom, since most kids in these classes are potty trained, or at least training) and showed her teachers (she has a main teacher, and also an assistant that goes between both the Primary Montessori classrooms) how they work (just like disposables! - except you roll them up and stick them in the wetbag, rather than throw them out). Everybody seemed completely fine and comfortable with the process. Then I took Cora into Ms. Kim's class and James into Ms. Reece's class. Even with the arrival of their buddy Manu (who is in Cora's class), neither kid was interested in me putting them down or walking away... So the director took Cora for me (and she was fine with her, so I think Ms. Amy already has a new buddy) and sat down with her for story time, while I took James into his room and got him settled at the table to play with playdough. I honestly don't know whether James has ever played with playdough before (we've haven't had it in the house yet, and I don't think they played with it at PCDC), but it sure seemed new to him. He was very excited to show me his "Boo dough!" (his was blue) and how he could use a cookie cutter to make a heart with it ("I make a heart Mommy!" - yes, he goes back and forth between calling me Mama and Mommy - it's fun). He wanted me to sit and play with him though, and didn't want me to go to work, so I ended up having to hand him over to Ms. Reece so I could leave. He made a sad face at me, but went right to her and didn't cry at all. In fact, Ms. Amy emailed at 11:00am just to tell me that he was acting as though he'd been there forever, and seemed very comfortable and happy in his new class. So he definitely had a great first day! Cora, on the other hand, did not. She was fussy and crying unless she was being held, she barely touched her lunch (which is VERY unlike our Super Eater), and she only napped for 45 minutes. When I arrived (at 2:50pm), she was sitting on the lap of the "aftercare" teacher (school ends at 2:30pm, and any child not picked up by 3:00pm goes to "aftercare", which is available for an additional fee until 5:30pm) with a bright red nose and flushed cheeks from crying, and she was doing the gasping/sighing thing that kids do when they've been crying hard and/or long. I felt horrible. The director told me that they were considering moving her down to the infant room, since she was so unhappy all day. Again, I felt like the meanest mommy ever for taking Cora out of a place where she was happy and away from teachers she loved. I knew this move would be hard on her, but I really feel that she has sacrificed for James. And what was James doing at this point? Playing with 3 other kids, "cooking rice" and arranging bowls of pretend food on a serving tray. Once he finally noticed me standing there (after I'd been there for about 5 minutes), he wanted me to eat the rice he cooked. He definitely had an easy transition to the new school.

Cue day two. Jay dropped off the kids and reported that James walked right on into his classroom, sat at the table, and started playing with the playdough (it's a morning-starter activity, something they do every day - kids thrive on routine). And Cora went to Ms. Kim kicking and screaming... I didn't get any reports during the day, and I was scared to ask. When I arrived to pick them up after school, I found Cora had already been moved to the infant room, and she'd been there most of the day. I was upset at first, that they would move her without talking to me (or Jay), but when I saw her happily playing with JulieAnn (the other 16-month-old in the room - the other three babies are LITTLE babies, not even crawling yet), I realized that the teachers knew what they were doing. They have, after all, been doing this for many years. She ate her lunch. She napped. She smiled and played and didn't need to be held all day. So we agreed to keep her in the infant room, whether it be for 2-3 weeks to get her adjusted to the new school, or for 2-3 months, when she and JulieAnn could move up together to the Toddler Montessori class.

Wednesday morning, drop-off was rough again for Cora (and for me). The kids were still gathering in the assembly room (they don't go back to their classrooms until 8:00am), and James wasn't too sure about me leaving him there. He went to Ms. Linda well enough, but I could see tears welling up in his eyes. I gave him a huge hug and kiss and promised him he would see Daddy right after nap. Cora would NOT let me pass her Ms. Lois, but I needed to talk to Ms. Lois anyway, so I asked her to come back to the infant room with me. She needed cloth diaper instruction (since she used Desitin on Cora's allergy rash, which I fear has completely ruined 3 of our diapers), and I had some questions (er, demands) about maintaining her usual lunchtime and nap schedule (there is no way in Hades I'm letting them get her off schedule, since we JUST got her and James napping reliably at the same time about 2 months ago). Ms. Lois came to Montessori from a special-needs care facility, and she has many years of experience with little ones. This is good and bad, in my opinion. She knows her stuff, but she also seems a bit stuck in her ways (as older folks tend to be - no offense to any of my older readers). As in, she thinks she knows what's best for EVERYONE. But we all know that Mama Knows Best... I think we're going to be friends though. I know I'll feel better about everything and everyone, once Cora settles in there. Hopefully that won't take too long, but I expect another week or so to pass before I can just drop her off and head to work. As I was leaving, the rest of the kids were filing back to their classes. And James spotted me, and ran over for a hug, a little whiny and panicked sounding again. But I reassured him that everything was fine, I hoped he'd have a great day playing with his new friends, and that Daddy would be there after nap to get him. I told him to go back with his class, and he quickly turned around and followed them back, no further worry in his eyes. At least we have one kid who is social and easy-going.

By Thursday morning, I knew that I couldn't stick around after dropping Cora into her room or I'd break down in tears again. It SUCKS to hear your baby cry for you. Almost as much as when they cry from pain or sickness. That heart wrenching "I NEED YOU MAMA PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN" cry is too much to bear, and has left me with lasting guilt each and every day this week. So James helped me drop Cora off, and then we ran back to his room. Again, he happily walked over to their little semi-circle table and took a seat, ready to start his day. I spoke briefly with his teacher, settled his things and the kids' lunches, then crept back out toward the exit (going past the infant room). Cora was still crying (this was about 4 minutes after I left her). As I walked back to the car in defeat, I bumped into a friend who also has a child at the Montessori school (a kindergartner), so we chatted a bit. Then I found a little kids' coin purse on the ground, so I took it in to pass off to the director. And I could still hear Cora crying (now, probably 7 minutes after drop-off). So yeah, I felt like crud the rest of the day. Luckily, both kids were in good moods once Daddy picked them up, and he took them for a run in the park. At dinner that night, I asked James if he liked his new school. He told me about his classmates ("Girls Mama!", even though there are also boys), specifically naming Abby and Emmy (so I guess I know who his new favorites are so far), then told me "I like Ms. Reece! I like Ms. Kim! I like Ms. Linda!" When I asked him about his day, he talked about playdough and playing and the letter P (or "puh", as he's saying it, for it's sound,"Puh, panda!" - for which Jay heard a report that James was the first to answer when the director walked in before lunch and asked the 3-year-old class what letter they were learning). So yes, at least James has adjusted quickly and happily.

On Friday, it was Jay's turn to drop the kids. He said he kept Cora with him while he took James to his room (and apparently James did NOT want to sit in the front assembly room with all the other kids before school started) and she was fine, UNTIL he took her into her room. Then she went right back to kicking and screaming and crying for Daddy. I figured it would be another day of the same, but when I picked her up, she actually had a really good report. Ms. Lois said they bonded a little, that Cora willingly sat in her lap and gave her some smiles. It's progress. As picky as Cora is about who she likes and trusts, this is definitely a good sign. She also played a lot today, and ate really well. Now, if only we could get her napping well, and on schedule, again. Not to mention STTN again (we had a good week stretch, the longest in MONTHS, then the daycare drama caused her to start waking in a panic multiple times per night)...

Even with the drama of the past week (which has been emotionally exhausting for me and quite stressful, so I can only imagine what the kids are going through - no wonder they've been extra clingy and whiny and sensitive), I feel like we made the right choice in moving the kids. Agape means Love, and I hope that when I next update on The Great Daycare Switcheroo, I will be able to honestly say that BOTH kids love their new school, and that we love it as well.

And in the meantime, I can honestly say that the kids are LOVING the extra time they are getting with their parents. Especially the one-on-one time their Daddy has been giving them, with trips to the park after school to run off any built-up stress and plenty of cuddles and stories when they get home. For this reason alone, I know we made a good decision in making this move. Our kids are only little for so long, and it's wonderful to be taking back 2-3 hours of time with them each weekday and enjoying them at this age, before they get busy with sports and dating and other afterschool activities. We love you James and Cora, and we promise we have your best interests at heart, always!